Instilling Confidence - Every Word Matters

Welcome back to my mini-series on the challenges faced by senior leaders, drawing on my own experiences both as a former C-suite leader and as an executive coach. If you missed Episode 1, "From Busyness to Clarity," click here: https://www.shine55.co.uk/from-busyness-to-clarity-episode-1-of-c-suite-learnings . Meanwhile, this episode looks at some of the unexpected mental distractions that often trip up senior leaders. Spoiler alert: This isn’t about muting notifications or cutting out email distractions. This is a deep dive into the mental roadblocks that, if left unchecked, can erode confidence and derail success. In this episode, I explore three all-too-common distractions often experienced by senior leaders: 1. The Seeds of Doubt 2. The Research Rabbit Hole 3. The "Go-To Problem Solver" Trap Let's dig into each of these—and how you can keep them from sabotaging your path forward. 1. The Seeds of Doubt When you’re in the hot seat, making decisions that impact not just the organisation but the people within it, doubt can creep in, especially when you’re lacking perfect information. This can lead to over-thinking and catastrophising. The Fix: Ask yourself 3 key questions: 1. Am I the right person to make this decision? – Consider if there’s someone closer to the details or with specialised knowledge who could weigh in. Leaning on experts or even an executive coach or mentor can free you from the cycle of indecision. 2. Can I rely on my intuition? – Experience counts for a lot. Trust your gut and remember that years in your field are likely to have given you instincts worth trusting. Even if you don’t have all the data, believe in your ability to course-correct if necessary. 3. What is the most realistic outcome if I make the wrong decision? – Invest some time in identifying ways to reduce the impact. The takeaway? Make peace with imperfection, and your intuition can be a valuable tool in effective decision-making. 2. The Research Rabbit Hole Curiosity is a wonderful trait in a leader for professional and personal development , but it can also become a dangerous distraction. Here’s a light-hearted example of my own. I was lucky enough to go Greek island hopping. What started as an exciting decision spiralled into weeks of researching islands, accommodations, and travel routes—all in pursuit of finding the “best” option. When I finally bit the bullet and circled back round to book the ‘perfect’ hotel, the price had gone up by 15%! We’ve all been there, right? When it comes to decision-making, endless research can quickly take over and you’ve lost valuable time. Why? Often, it’s driven by FOMO or a desire to avoid commitment. The Fix: Apply the Pareto Principle: 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. Here’s how: • Identify the minimum “must-have” data points. • Rely on considered assumptions for the rest. • Embrace a mindset of experimentation and iteration—you don’t need perfect clarity to make a great decision. Remember, the goal is to get just enough information to make an informed choice. Then, act on it. 3. The 'Go-To' Problem Solver Trap If you’re constantly swooping in to solve every problem, two things happen. First, you disempower your team by becoming the only source of solutions. Second, you rob yourself of the space needed to focus on strategic goals. It can be particularly challenging for new/aspiring senior leaders, when you need to shift your perspective from team leadership to organisation leadership. Ask yourself if your need to jump in is driven by a desire to feel useful or it’s a more comfortable space for you—because, in reality, this can become a burden on both you and your team. The Fix: Shift from problem-solver to coach. Here’s one way to think about it. When a team member brings you a problem, ask: • “What are three ways you might solve this?” • “How would you like to tackle it and why?” • Encourage them “I trust your judgment—go for it.” Not only will this empower people, but it will free you to focus on leading, not micromanaging. Bonus distraction: Pessimism! Scepticism has its place in leadership, but persistent pessimism can drain morale—yours and your team’s. Your role is to set the vision, and if you’re the “mood hoover,” it sends a signal that you lack confidence in your people. The Fix: Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. This isn’t just a feel-good exercise; studies show that affirmations reduce cortisol, the stress hormone. A simple shift in mindset can help you show up with a sense of optimism and clarity, which others will mirror. Conclusion: Distractions come in many forms for senior leaders, but the ones that truly jeopardise success are often mental. Recognise them, confront them, and remember that the best leaders are those who can focus on the big picture while empowering others to solve the details.

Recently I was lucky enough to have a 2wk holiday. Whilst I was away, I felt the familiar gift of clarity that often accompanies a break from the everyday rush. This time out gave me an abundance of ideas for my new blog mini-series. Here, I’ll share insights from my experiences as a former C-suite executive. In Episode 1, I explore one realisation I had: shifting from busyness to clarity. The Busy C-Suite Trap: Why So Many Senior Leaders Don't Take a Break A recent Deloitte survey revealed that 73% of C-suite executives avoid taking time off because of overwhelming workloads. I know the feeling well—the gnawing fear that if you take a week off or unplug from email, things will spiral out of control. Yet, in all my years, I never once saw the world end because I took a break. In fact, stepping back often gave me a fresh, clearer perspective and a renewed sense of purpose. For many senior leaders, “busyness” becomes a kind of badge of honour. If you’re constantly busy, it feels like you’re contributing at a high level. But for many leaders I’ve coached, this constant activity often conceals a lack of alignment with our true priorities. The Addictive Nature of Busyness The cycle of busyness can be highly addictive. Checking off items on a to-do list provides a dopamine hit, giving a sense of accomplishment that can mask deeper, more strategic work that may not fit as neatly into daily checklists. I remember my own to-do lists, seemingly endless, with new tasks emerging faster than I could complete them. In hindsight, I realised that some tasks didn’t contribute to the higher-level objectives of the business. The Vibe You Project: From 'I Know You're Busy' to Open Communication One eye-opening moment came when I noticed a pattern: almost every conversation a team member initiated with me began, “I know you’re busy, but…” I began to worry that the message I was sending was that my team’s input was an interruption rather than an integral part of my role. My busyness had, unintentionally, created a barrier. Clearing the “busy” signal is an important way to empower a team to engage more freely, and is also an active reminder as to your role as a leader, not just a doer. Shifting Perspective: Moving from Busyness to Clarity It’s easy to say, “Work smarter, not harder.” But for leaders in the thick of high-stakes decisions, this shift in mindset can feel impossible. Here’s one way I support my coaching clients to identify how to reduce busyness while increasing clarity and effectiveness. The Frame Game: A Tool for Clarity and Focus This simple exercise can help you assess how you’re spending your time and ensure alignment with your true priorities. 1. Reflect and Write: Without overthinking, jot down everything you’ve been doing or thinking about over the last month. Set a timer for 10 minutes and capture as much as you can. 2. Draw Your Frame: On a blank piece of paper, draw a large rectangle. This represents your ideal work focus as a senior leader —the activities that align with the strategic priorities of your C-suite role. 3. Classify Inside and Outside: Place each item you’ve written either inside or outside the frame. This will help you see where your time aligns with your role—and where it might not. Now, use these reflection questions to gain insight into your current situation and identify potential adjustments: Q1: Are you spending most of your time on activities inside or outside the frame? If the majority are outside, this may indicate a need to refocus on your high-impact responsibilities. Q2: Are there essential activities missing from the frame? For example, if your job profile emphasises strategic planning, but your frame is missing time for this, it’s worth examining why. Q3: For the tasks outside the frame, ask yourself: Can these be automated? Can they be delegated? Do they even need to be done? Reflect on how each category of tasks makes you feel. This emotional response can reveal valuable insights, often pointing toward areas for development or even suggesting directions for your future career focus. Conclusion: Finding Value Beyond Busyness The journey from busyness to clarity is an essential one for any leader. By examining where your time and energy go, you can avoid the “busy fool” syndrome and channel your efforts into the high-level work that truly makes a difference. Stay tuned for Episode 2 of this series, where we’ll dive into the art of managing distractions—a critical step in reclaiming time and focus in the C-suite.

Are you contemplating a move to the C-Suite? Transitioning into this level is a significant career milestone, but it’s also a substantial shift that demands a new set of skills. While both C-Suite and Director roles involve leadership, the scope and impact of that leadership are amplified in the C-Suite. Instead of focusing on specific departments or executing strategies set by others, you’ll be making high-stakes strategic decisions and setting the vision for the entire organisation. It’s a challenging but incredibly rewarding position for those who are prepared. If you’re aiming for the C-Suite, here are five crucial skills you should develop: 1 Master Social Skills Surprisingly, social skills top the list. In today’s fast-paced business environment, the conditions for success are rapidly changing, and leaders who align with their employees’ values and priorities are in high demand. Social skills extend beyond good communication; they encompass self-awareness, empathy, and the ability to understand and work effectively with diverse teams. As a C-Suite executive, you’ll be one of the most visible leaders in the organisation, both internally and externally. You’ll need to be a role model and ambassador. Failing to communicate effectively can have detrimental consequences for both you and the organisation. Navigating complex situations with difficult personalities or competing agendas is often part of the job, making strong social skills indispensable. 2 Cultivate Adaptability Adaptability is crucial for any C-Suite leader. In previous roles, you may have focused on being receptive to change or leading your division through change. However, in the C-Suite, your responsibility shifts to identifying the need for change and rethinking organisational structures, processes, and mindsets. Successfully navigating rapidly changing markets and technological advancements requires a proactive and adaptive approach. 3 Foster Creativity & Innovation Organisations often stick to familiar strategies to avoid risks, but this approach can leave them vulnerable in a constantly evolving business landscape. As a C-Suite leader, standing still is not an option. You must embrace creative thinking and innovation to keep your organisation agile and competitive. This involves challenging the status quo, encouraging diverse perspectives, and exploring unconventional solutions. 4 Fearless Approach to Risk Management C-Suite executives are responsible for making high-stakes decisions, often with limited or no data. This requires a fearless approach to risk management. As you drive creativity and innovation, you’ll need to navigate uncharted waters and take on greater professional risks. Developing the ability to manage big risks effectively is essential for success at this level. 5 Build Digital Know-How In today’s digital age, understanding emerging technologies is increasingly important for C-Suite leaders. Whilst it’s not expected that all members of the C-Suite are as tech-savvy as the CIO or CTO, it’s important to have a good understanding of important technologies that can differentiate the organisation’s proposition or drive value across the enterprise. Understanding critical data management, automation platforms and technologies is key. Digital know-how will enable you to make informed decisions that propel your organisation forward. Stepping into the C-Suite is not for the faint-hearted, but with these skills in your toolkit, you’ll be well-prepared to take on the challenges and rewards of executive leadership.

Do you find it hard to say No? We’ve all been there—grappling with the willpower to turn down that extra glass of wine or resist the temptation of a delicious dessert. But when it comes to the workplace, how often do you find it to say "No"? This challenge is a recurring theme with some of my executive coaching clients. Whether you are just starting out or an experienced C-suite executive, it can be a struggle to break the habit of saying "Yes" to every request that comes your way. Consider these all-too-familiar scenarios: You’d be doing me a massive favour if you could take this on for me. We need someone to champion this, and I know you’d be great at it. I realise you’re swamped, but this is REALLY important. There’s an awkward silence in the meeting, and you break it by saying, “I’ll do it. You think to yourself, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.” If these situations resonate with you, you’re not alone. While being helpful and accommodating can be strengths, overextending yourself can lead to burnout, decreased job satisfaction, and a lack of focus on your strategic priorities. The Impact of Saying Yes Too Often Saying "Yes" to everything might feel like the path of least resistance, but it can have significant consequences. You might find yourself overwhelmed with tasks that don’t align with your values or goals, or you might constantly sacrifice personal time, leading to stress and exhaustion. This not only affects your well-being but also diminishes your overall productivity and effectiveness at work. But let’s be clear—I’m not advocating for a blanket refusal of all requests. The key is to strike a balance that allows you to maintain your integrity, protect your time, and focus on what truly matters. The Helicopter Approach: A Strategy for Saying No If the thought of saying "No" fills you with dread, consider using what I call the "helicopter approach." This mental exercise can help you gain perspective and make more thoughtful decisions: Step Back and Reflect: Notice what you’re thinking, feeling, or experiencing in the moment. Pause and resist the urge to justify why you should say "Yes." Consider the Other Person’s Perspective: Imagine you’re the one making the request. What might you be thinking or feeling? Is the situation truly as urgent or dire as it seems? Will their world collapse if you say "No"? Observe as a Third Party: Visualise the situation from the perspective of an outsider. What do you see, hear, or think about this interaction? Give Yourself Advice from the Observer’s Perspective: What advice would this impartial observer give you? How do you feel about saying "Yes" now? This exercise helps you step out of your immediate emotional reaction and see the situation from different angles, often making it easier to assertively decline. A Lesson in Saying No: My Story Let me lighten the mood with a personal experience that illustrates the power of saying "No"—and how, often, the consequences are far less significant than we fear... I have an irrational fear of cows. Yes, cows. When I’m out hiking, I’ll go miles out of my way to avoid crossing a field full of these gentle giants. Just last week, I was on a beautiful hike when I encountered yet another field of cows with no way around it. I stood at the stile for what felt like an eternity, debating my options. A dog walker passed by and asked if I was okay. I joked, “Yes, of course, I’m just deciding whether to risk life and limb by going through this field.” Secretly, I hoped they’d offer to walk with me, but they just wished me “Good luck” and continued on. With no other choice, I decided to stick to the edges of the field, power-walking with one eye on the cows. But halfway across, they started running toward me—about 20 of them! I panicked, knowing I couldn’t outrun them, and with nowhere to hide. But then, something clicked. I turned to face them, adopted my best John Wayne stance, and shouted, “NO, NO, NO” with all the authority I could muster. To my amazement, they stopped in their tracks and sauntered off. I left that field half a stone lighter from the sweat and stress, but with a valuable lesson: while saying "No" can feel daunting, it’s often of little consequence to others. Conclusion: Embrace the Power of No The next time you’re faced with a difficult decision about whether to say "Yes" or "No," remember the cows. Often, the anxiety we feel about turning someone down is far greater than the actual impact of our decision. By using the helicopter approach and practicing assertiveness, reclaim your time and energy, focus on what truly matters, and ultimately achieve a more balanced and fulfilling professional life.

Playing to your strengths? Maybe. But are you continuing to develop them? There are endless wise words about strengths. Play to your strengths. Surround yourself with a team who counterbalance your weaknesses. Every failure makes you stronger. The list goes on. But how much time do you invest in developing your strengths so that they become real superpowers? Whilst sitting in my local coffee house, cradling a flat white, I realised that my approach to developing my strengths was inconsistent. Scenario 1: For strengths that I enjoy using, there are two outcomes. Firstly, I actively seek out situations to deploy those strengths, so getting the implicit benefit of ‘practice makes perfect.’ Secondly, I am all over the personal development around this, seeking out podcasts, articles etc that help me build on these further. Scenario 2: Strengths that I know that I have, but deploy them out of necessity, which takes away the enjoyment and satisfaction, and more importantly means they could do with some dusting off. With the words ‘practice makes perfect’ ringing in my ears, I selected three to focus on this month... Creativity - surprising for someone who got an ‘Ungraded’ in their Art O’ Level I know. Bravery - you may not find me first in the queue volunteering to bungee jump, but I will put myself in situations that are massively outside my comfort zone. These decisions are sometimes facilitated by a G&T, but more often than not, it’s a case of saying ‘Yes’ before the reasons to say 'No' kick in. Perspective – Not so much about keeping things in perspective (another blog topic I feel) but considering multiple perspectives when problem solving. These 3 strengths are powerful in fast tracking personal growth and fulfilment, so can have a positive impact on wellbeing. If these are strengths you relate to, why not try this challenge in July. The goal is to complete all 10 activities. July Strengths Challenge: 1 Consult someone new for a project you’re working on, to get an alternative view 2 Explore multiple solutions to a challenge you’re facing 3 Dream big! Consider the art of the possible on your professional journey, we’ll come back to this topic in a later blog 4 Try a new strategy to improve your productivity 5 Identify a task that you’ve avoided and face it in a new creative way 6 Watch this short YouTube video (6mins) that can motivate you to change your perspective when feeling defeated https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NS95suaHc18 7 Throw caution to the wind and say Yes to something that normally intimidates you 8 Share a fear with someone you trust 9 ‘Strength spot’ with someone you trust, it’s motivating and makes you aware of strengths you may not have appreciated 10 Choose one way you can be creative this month Join me in the July Strengths challenge, and tell a partner, friend, colleague (or me!) what you’re doing so they can motivate and celebrate with you at the end of the month. Get flexing those superpowers!

When recruiting a new member to your team, how many times have you read CVs that state the candidate is ‘outcome-focused’ or ‘goal oriented’? You may have it in your own CV. It’s a good thing, right??? Setting goals helps trigger new behaviours, helps guide your focus and encourages you to sustain momentum in life. After all, you can’t manage what you don’t measure, and you can’t improve on something that you don’t properly manage. Setting goals can be highly motivational as well as improving our mental health and our level of personal and professional success. The type of goal is important Over 1,000 studies have consistently shown that setting high and specific goals is linked to increased task performance, persistence, and motivation, compared to vague or easy goals (Locke and Latham, 2002, 2006). I can’t deny that I’m a little obsessive on goal setting. Every quarter, I set myself a small number of professional and personal goals (max 3-5), that I write in a little notebook (very retro for a digital advocate I know) and log progress against them. I’d love to tell you that every quarter it’s a 100% success against those goals, but that’s not the case. However, they serve to give me purpose, they help to keep me pushing forward, and encourage me to celebrate or at least acknowledge those successes or even just positive progress towards them. For someone who historically had a natural leaning towards a ‘cup half empty’ approach to life, this alone has been transformative. Relaxation is important According to Matt Killingsworth’s ‘Track Your Happiness’ Project, 47% of the time our mind is wandering. Alpha waves show up when our mind is wandering, which means we are relaxing. Brains can’t maintain focus without periods of relaxation. If you focus all of your time on your goals, you can miss really valuable information. Zachary Irving (2015) research found that having a free association thought process that randomly generates memories, and imaginative processes can lead to new ideas and insights. So, some time out is good too. The value of being present As someone who focuses a lot on goals, I know how challenging in can be sometimes to live in the moment. Most of our time is spent in the past or the future, rather than the present. What we end up doing is passing through the moment on the way to somewhere else, and as a result, we miss the moment. That’s how life ends up passing us by, we do it to ourselves. In many respects, thinking about the past can help us identify ways to avoid mistakes in the future, and thinking about the future can propel us forward with purpose, both great, but it can also cause problems. My son is regularly calling me out on not listening or only half listening. Now it has to be said there could be a whole chunk of menopausal memory loss and concentration challenge going on, being of a certain age that I am. This morning’s example: Me: Are you going into the office today? Son: No, mum, I told you yesterday that I was working at home today Me: Oh yes, of course Son: So why am I working at home today, mum? Me: Wild panic starts to kick in, I start to throw out random guesses as I have no recollection at all Son: Walks off, eyes rolling to the top of his head. On the positive he doesn’t hold grudges 😊 Menopause memory challenges aside, I know that on occasions I find it hard to remain present. When I am present, it’s always a better outcome. It makes you a better listener. You’ll appreciate what’s around you and let yourself have fun. It can have a profound effect on your mental health, by decreasing stress and abrupt changes in your mood because you have more control over your thoughts. Plus, it helps us absorb more knowledge and improve our skills. When you’re present, you aren’t dwelling on past failures in a negative way or paralysed by the fear of what might happen in the future. How to remain present - the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique Aside from all the well-trodden paths of breathing exercises, pausing social media, getting out in nature as means of increasing your focus on being present, one simple technique that I love is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique… Take a moment to pause and name: · 5 things you can see around you · 4 things you can touch or feel · 3 distinct sounds you can hear · 2 things you can smell · And finally, 1 thing you can taste This exercise really helps to ground you in your surroundings and appreciate the moment.

This may sound like the start of a corny joke, but it's a real question, to which the answer may be surprising, a weakness is often a strength in plain sight. Bear with me... According to Robert Louis Stevenson: ‘You cannot run away from weakness; you might sometime fight it out or perish; and if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?’ So today, I invite you to face into your weaknesses. You can’t let go of something if you don’t notice that you’re holding onto it. Admit your ‘weakness’ and find the positive place this can take you to. Let’s get started! 1 - Find your weakness Don’t go overboard thinking about an extensive list, this could be a tad depressing. Focus on the top 3 thoughts that sprint to mind. Remember, this is a positive action in its own right! You’re being brave by just writing these down or saying them aloud, and you’re demonstrating self-awareness. Well done you! 2 - Examine the weakness What are the facts that demonstrate it’s a weakness? This is important, as you may find there’s no relevant/noteworthy evidence at all. It could be rooted in an event many years ago, that you’ve hung onto. It could be that it only happens in certain circumstances, examine what these are. It could be that someone told you that it’s a weakness. What might be their motivator be for saying this? Could they feel threatened by it, or that it’s a strength that they don’t like, or are envious of? What is the counter evidence? This scrutiny will help debunk negative beliefs that you’ve inadvertently attributed to yourself, keep the weakness in perspective, or may even result in you crossing it off your list. 3 - Where DOESN'T the weakness exist? Let’s use an example weakness often cited at interviews, being too detail oriented. Flip that on its head and identify situations where you are less focused on detail. What are the attributes of this situation? By asking yourself questions to understand why it’s so different in one area of your life versus another, will help you identify strategies and tools that can help you change and achieve more. Write every option down, however small, or even ridiculous some of them may seem. If you’ve felt that your weaknesses have been holding you back for years, then it makes sense that you may assume it’s impossible to change. Don’t limit yourself by assuming your first idea will solve it. Overthinking can be one of the biggest barriers to finding solutions. 4 - What motivates you? Find what truly motivates you, and however big an obstacle your fear seems, you will overcome it. For me, my desire to become a qualified executive coach was so strong, that it made my fear of embracing academia in my 50s a small price to pay. In fact, the 14mths of studying, practising, and being constantly evaluated, turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life. 5 - Act now Life gets busy, right? Do you tend to procrastinate? It’s important to decide on the best way to hold yourself accountable for taking action. Often this is as simple as telling someone else you are taking action, or think about an imaginary boss, would they be happy with the progress you’re making? Going back to where this blog first started, a weakness is often a strength in plain sight, I want to share one final personal experience with you to bring this to life. In my executive career, I sometimes found myself on the receiving end of feedback around being too sensitive or taking things too personally. I found this infuriating and was determined to work through this, see my blog on resilience - https://www.shine55.co.uk/leadership-resilience-culture-and-diy ). However, what I eventually came to appreciate is that honing that ability to sense what other people are experiencing, is an enormously valuable attribute of an executive coach, a strength hiding in plain sight!

Have you completed you/your team's annual performance reviews or maybe in the midst of them now? According to a study of 81,000 performance evaluations, for every 2 positive words used to describe a female leader, there were 5 used to describe male leaders. Plus, there were only 2 negative descriptors that came up frequently for men, in contrast to 12 for women. Research has also shown that women are more likely to receive vague or conflicting feedback, not connected to objectives or business outcomes. Irritating at best, infuriating if we're being honest. As we all know, diversity in its broadest sense is vital for organisational success. That said, how do we as women give ourselves, our teams, and our organisations the best chance of success? According to some of the world's most successful female leaders, there are 9 Leadership Traits they focus on. Here's a great checklist for performance reviews or CPD plans for the year ahead: 1 - Be open-minded Ask insightful questions of others and yourself, to see a situation from all angles before jumping in. 2 - Approach problems from a macro AND micro level Start big picture but then break the situation down to see what’s really going on underneath the surface. 3 - Trust your gut Sometimes the most important voice is your own. The combination of being open-minded, approaching problems from a macro and micro level and trusting your gut is a powerful one. 4 - Step outside your comfort zone Great leaders are more likely to take some chances that make them uneasy. This is how you’ll achieve some of your greatest successes and learnings. Don’t run away from your fears, run towards them, over and over again! 5 - Take responsibility Accept the consequences of your actions….but don’t be the scape goat for others! 6 - Find opportunities for improvement I 'll caveat this by saying 'but don't lose sight of the great things you achieve either!' Make sure to push for fact-based feedback that you can act on. 7 - Be mindful Take a short amount of time out every day for introspection. 8 - Treat everyone with respect You never know when your paths may cross again. 9 - Make equality a reality We’ve all got a role to play, so don’t just spectate, lead the way on diversity.

Life isn't always full of rainbows and unicorns... Inevitably there are those body blows that are sent to try us, or a sequence of disappointment/problems AND THEN TO TOP IT ALL you drop your glove in a puddle….the world is against you……you lose perspective ……and shout, swear, cry, or throw something (select as appropriate). We’ve all experienced it, haven’t we? I'd love to be the bearer of great news and say I'm going to share one tip that eradicates the blues. Regrettably, that isn't going to happen but what I am going to share is a short daily routine that is based around the 4 brain chemicals that create happiness: Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphins, as an acronym, DOSE! I can't help myself, an acronym gives me happiness! Step 1 - Positive affirmations Neuroscience tells us that if you train your mind to look for positives first, this is what you will see and ultimately create. One way to do this is to start the day with positive affirmations, examples could be ‘I can succeed, I will succeed’ or ‘I’m surrounded by people who care’ or ‘today is going to be a great day, filled with joy.’ Keep them punchy, don’t have too many, ensure they’re meaningful to you and say them aloud when you first wake up, and periodically throughout the day. It’s essential that you do this regularly, and not just when you’re having a difficult day - that won’t work. Now this may all sound a bit flaky (I can’t deny I started as a cynic), but it works. There is MRI evidence suggesting that certain neural pathways are increased when people practice self-affirmation tasks (Cascio et al., 2016). If you want to be really specific, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex—involved in positive valuation and self-related information processing—becomes more active when we consider our personal values (Falk et al., 2015; Cascio et al., 2016). When we choose to practice positive affirmations, we’re better able to view “otherwise-threatening information as more self-relevant and valuable” This plays out in your career too. Barbara Frederickson’s research shows that high-performing teams use at least a 3:1 ratio of positive messages as opposed to negative ones. Marcial Losada and Emily Heaphy, who studied the impact of team conversations, calculate that the ratio of positive versus negative interactions in high-performing teams is even higher at 6:1. Step 2 - Create little moments of satisfaction Dopamine creates that little feeling of satisfaction or joy when you tick something off your task list, or someone likes your LinkedIn post, or you start a new positive habit. It won’t change your world or have long lasting effects, but it gives that little fleeting buzz that helps a day be better. Make sure that each day you pop a few activities like this into your schedule. Step 3 - Get social Oxytocin is sometimes known as ‘the hugging drug’ because it’s released by the brain during physical contact with others, and it’s also the feeling behind love, friendship, or deep trust. It’s proven to boost our immune systems, makes us better problem solvers, and gives us lasting feelings of calm and safety. Positive social interaction whether that’s physical, catching up over a coffee, just chatting on the phone or opening up emotionally is a win-win as it should deliver a little oxytocin to both you and the person you spend time with – how kind! Step 4 - Those feet are made for walking The brain produces Serotonin in response to sun and daylight. As winter approaches, it starts getting darker much earlier in the day, which may affect your mood and make you more prone to sadness. Getting outside once a day in mid-day for a short work can be really beneficial. And finally... Step 5 - Push yourself Endorphins are essentially released in response to pain, helping us to push our bodies beyond their comfort level. Once you get beyond the pain part, endorphins feel like a ‘high’ or even just a nice, relaxed feeling. Take a 2min cold shower in the morning, and once you get beyond the initial physical discomfort, you can get a huge boost of endorphins. Alternatively, get yourself to the gym, go for a run, or even just power walk, whatever pushes you slightly beyond your comfort level will have a positive effect.